Theoretical aspects

Comments from specialists

Comment from Anne-Marie Sandler about video1, Observation of the interactions between the parents and their baby

I think that here, Serge Lebovici tries to reinforce the confidence of the two parents in their ability to be good parents, and that seems for me to be an important movement because this tragedy with Thibault was certainly a terrible trauma for these parents and their feeling to be good parents. Serge has the capacity to ask for very interesting and difficult questions, without too injuring, without danger for hurting these parents. For example, just at the moment when he comes back from the room with the two-way mirror, he asks to the father why he puts the finger of his baby in her mouth. And that question starts a very important movement between the parents and Serge Lebovici; Because the mother, immediatly, understands and says that the father is in the impossibility to establish a real relationship with the baby, and that what he is doing with his daugthter, he was doing the same with his son Thibault, when he was with him. And the father confirms what the mother says. I found extremely important and interesting that the father could speak in a roundabout way from what he did with Thibault. I understood that he takes his hand and is caressing his cheek, as a possibility to establish a contact with this son. The mother, at this moment, seems to understand the obsession of the father whith his son, and I think that, non only it is impossible for him to do the mourning's work, but he doesn't want to do it, to be parted from him by death. If he tried to realize this mourning's work, he should be risking to feel himself greatly weakened and without recourse. He should have to renounce to a resentment he feels against his wife. For the moment, he is the victim. But he feels guilty and constrained in his distress. he cannot begin the mourning's work. I think that the question from Serge, about this observation of the thumb in the mouth of her daughter opens him to an insight of his fear that it might happen again.